War is necessary only because mankind makes it necessary. Even tribes war on one another. I think we may have a chance at finding peace if we realize that it isn't a think we can go back to, because we never had it, but a thing that we can only find when we transcend our own history.
Prescription: There isn't anything I can offer, because the only answer we have is that everything would be fine if we only had a solution.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Working off the boredom
I have made an art of not doing too much. Lately I have done so little that I find myself gnawing all my fingernails off and bouncing up and down like a neurotic creature. There is also mindless food. Surprisingly in all this I had my first lucid dream, which ended with my deciding that shopping for shoes is the best use of time in a place where I have infinite power. (To be fair, I never want to shop for shoes normally, and that could have been an interesting trippy experience in my head.)
To combat this mind-numbing nothingness, I have begun another exercise regimen. This one is performed in the comfort of my own home (Ah, now that's the infomercial speak we know and love.). More importantly, I don't have to deal with anyone but myself and the cat when I'm attempting to move muscles that never have to wake up under normal circumstances.
I'll bet that you, like me, would exercise more if there were only an easy, cheap way for you to learn how to exercise properly. And since exercise crap is very expensive, whether one buys a gym membership or DVDs, this is a wonderful excuse for procrastination. But now I have to kill that excuse. Sorry.
If you have a local Dollar Tree and a DVD player, there is a set of six exercise DVDs for one dollar each. I can not vouch for the weight loss DVDs, as I need to keep on every pound that I've got. However, I have been using the Ab centered one and the other that promises help with toning the muscles. (This one also has a bit of work with abs. Abs are the motherfucking celebrities of muscles.) I will tomorrow buy a yoga DVD as well.
What's that? You don't want to spend one to six dollars? Ah, that's okay. The company which makes these, Exercise TV, has several workouts for free online. http://www.exercisetv.tv/ Did you know there was such a thing as .tv to end a web address? Neither did I.
If the 20 minute vids are too much for you, no problem there. Go to youtube. Look up 15 minute whatever. Look up 5. There are even 1 minute workouts. I looked for 30 second workouts, but unfortunately did not find them. I assume that 30 minutes would entail one exercise.
Prescription: Get moving. Yay moving. Acquire extra oxygen. Yay health. Fuck exercise for weight loss. (Alternately, fuck for exercise. It is more fun, albeit possibly more expensive, depending on how you do it and with whom.)
To combat this mind-numbing nothingness, I have begun another exercise regimen. This one is performed in the comfort of my own home (Ah, now that's the infomercial speak we know and love.). More importantly, I don't have to deal with anyone but myself and the cat when I'm attempting to move muscles that never have to wake up under normal circumstances.
I'll bet that you, like me, would exercise more if there were only an easy, cheap way for you to learn how to exercise properly. And since exercise crap is very expensive, whether one buys a gym membership or DVDs, this is a wonderful excuse for procrastination. But now I have to kill that excuse. Sorry.
If you have a local Dollar Tree and a DVD player, there is a set of six exercise DVDs for one dollar each. I can not vouch for the weight loss DVDs, as I need to keep on every pound that I've got. However, I have been using the Ab centered one and the other that promises help with toning the muscles. (This one also has a bit of work with abs. Abs are the motherfucking celebrities of muscles.) I will tomorrow buy a yoga DVD as well.
What's that? You don't want to spend one to six dollars? Ah, that's okay. The company which makes these, Exercise TV, has several workouts for free online. http://www.exercisetv.tv/ Did you know there was such a thing as .tv to end a web address? Neither did I.
If the 20 minute vids are too much for you, no problem there. Go to youtube. Look up 15 minute whatever. Look up 5. There are even 1 minute workouts. I looked for 30 second workouts, but unfortunately did not find them. I assume that 30 minutes would entail one exercise.
Prescription: Get moving. Yay moving. Acquire extra oxygen. Yay health. Fuck exercise for weight loss. (Alternately, fuck for exercise. It is more fun, albeit possibly more expensive, depending on how you do it and with whom.)
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Black and the White
I'm going to tell you a little about faerie lore. You can bring it up at parties and sound uber-smart. Maybe it'll get you laid.
Classically, there is the Seelie Court and the Unseelie Court. The Seelies are sweet little things. They help with chores and make sure that cattle are raised nice and fat. The crops grow well if the Seelie are on board with what you're doing. Just give them a bit of butter now and again, or anything else you think they might like. Don't pay any mind to the bits of mischief they might want to do, and mind that you think of their existence so they don't just poof into oblivion.
The Unseelie Court is much maligned. They aren't very nice, generally. They have their own agenda, and while they might find something useful in humans, they aren't inclined to cooperate in order to get it. They don't give an inch for free, and the tricky nature of faeries is a little more twisted in these ones. You're bound to lose something with them around.
On another note, a friend of mine (who was in most other respects an idiot) believed that demons were simply angels who didn't feel like bending over backwards to please the little humans whom they may or may not be trying to help. Think of them as the disgruntled, bitching employees willing the clock to move forward, as opposed to the super hyper ones who vie for employee of the month and earnestly enjoy serving brats both young and old.
The connection between the two is important outside the context of a lesson in mythology. In some myths, the Tuatha Dé Danann were an ancient people in Ireland defeated by newcomers. These were the ancestors of the Sidhe (AKA the faeries.) So you've got a defeated people that later writers want to subjugate. They are fitted into labels of cooperative or uncooperative, so everyone knows who they can get something from and who is playing by the rules. Nowadays, these labels are generally interpreted as good and bad, or good and evil.
We definitely like to label things, like Alice says. We like to box people in with words and punish them for ever getting out. We stay in our own little words as well. That sucks. We have no natural predators, and yet we are so damned threatened by everything.
Prescription:
I cordially invite you to be naughty. At least for a day. Forget the boxes, and tell yourself that the evil people get a little respect for a change. Don't expect anyone to be helpful before you show them some respect, and don't let yourself be cowed into being good before expecting what you ought to have. Just pull your own and live your life. Let the rest go.
Classically, there is the Seelie Court and the Unseelie Court. The Seelies are sweet little things. They help with chores and make sure that cattle are raised nice and fat. The crops grow well if the Seelie are on board with what you're doing. Just give them a bit of butter now and again, or anything else you think they might like. Don't pay any mind to the bits of mischief they might want to do, and mind that you think of their existence so they don't just poof into oblivion.
The Unseelie Court is much maligned. They aren't very nice, generally. They have their own agenda, and while they might find something useful in humans, they aren't inclined to cooperate in order to get it. They don't give an inch for free, and the tricky nature of faeries is a little more twisted in these ones. You're bound to lose something with them around.
On another note, a friend of mine (who was in most other respects an idiot) believed that demons were simply angels who didn't feel like bending over backwards to please the little humans whom they may or may not be trying to help. Think of them as the disgruntled, bitching employees willing the clock to move forward, as opposed to the super hyper ones who vie for employee of the month and earnestly enjoy serving brats both young and old.
The connection between the two is important outside the context of a lesson in mythology. In some myths, the Tuatha Dé Danann were an ancient people in Ireland defeated by newcomers. These were the ancestors of the Sidhe (AKA the faeries.) So you've got a defeated people that later writers want to subjugate. They are fitted into labels of cooperative or uncooperative, so everyone knows who they can get something from and who is playing by the rules. Nowadays, these labels are generally interpreted as good and bad, or good and evil.
We definitely like to label things, like Alice says. We like to box people in with words and punish them for ever getting out. We stay in our own little words as well. That sucks. We have no natural predators, and yet we are so damned threatened by everything.
Fuck that hypervigilance.
Prescription:
I cordially invite you to be naughty. At least for a day. Forget the boxes, and tell yourself that the evil people get a little respect for a change. Don't expect anyone to be helpful before you show them some respect, and don't let yourself be cowed into being good before expecting what you ought to have. Just pull your own and live your life. Let the rest go.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Special: Make-a-Flake
The winter seasons abound with depression. That is why I am here, to give you a little cheer, perhaps a cathartic moment or two. Unlike most pills, these can be taken with alcohol, so you should feel free to proceed as normal at unnecessary holiday functions.
Make a Flake is a website that has been around for some time, and provides hours of enjoyment without creating a large mess of papers. Come here to experiment if you don't know much about cutting snowflakes. You can easily undue large mistakes, a benefit which real paper can not afford you.
Be sure to save your snowflakes if you like them, or else they will be lost in the many thousands of other flakes, and you shall never find them again. Two of my recent flakes can be found in the following links:
http://snowflakes.barkleyus.com/viewflake.php?id=20509386
http://snowflakes.barkleyus.com/viewflake.php?id=20509406
Prescription: Visit website as needed, for as long as needed. There are no known side effects.
Make a Flake is a website that has been around for some time, and provides hours of enjoyment without creating a large mess of papers. Come here to experiment if you don't know much about cutting snowflakes. You can easily undue large mistakes, a benefit which real paper can not afford you.
Be sure to save your snowflakes if you like them, or else they will be lost in the many thousands of other flakes, and you shall never find them again. Two of my recent flakes can be found in the following links:
http://snowflakes.barkleyus.com/viewflake.php?id=20509386
http://snowflakes.barkleyus.com/viewflake.php?id=20509406
Prescription: Visit website as needed, for as long as needed. There are no known side effects.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Real sickness: I can has fever.
While I am no longer at school or on vacation, I have been unable to write because I have been ill. How sad.
If you are stuck with a fever and need some mindless entertainment, here is a little tip. Visit this website - http://www.neave.com/television/ Random bits of television tossed out there, and you can always click the TV window to change the channel (But you have no control over what plays.)
I don't know when I'll be back, hopefully in a few days.
If you are stuck with a fever and need some mindless entertainment, here is a little tip. Visit this website - http://www.neave.com/television/ Random bits of television tossed out there, and you can always click the TV window to change the channel (But you have no control over what plays.)
I don't know when I'll be back, hopefully in a few days.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Cure it with cute.
Anything can overload the emotions. Anything. Too little to do, too much money, these can cause as much harm as being overworked and down and out. Even if you are on a perpetual vacation, you should take a break every so often to recharge.
The internet is here to help you. With kittens.
The internet is here to help you. With kittens.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Generic Prescription: Gift Idea #1
The economy sucks, but thankfully there are generic things that we can do. If you have a gift idea which few people make, then you can give one to everyone on your list and they'll receive just one, not ten or twenty. So, every so often from now until the end of the holidays (Which I have decided will be after Russian Orthodox Christmas), I will post a few ideas for easily mass-produced gifts that don't cost a lot.
Today's prescription: Rice Bags.
I have lived in a few different areas of the country (The east, south, southwest, and northwest.) and it seems to me that no matter where one lives in the US, the winter weather is cold. Cold enough that, even in the warm indoors, your limbs may feel frozen. This might keep you from sleeping. At the very least, it may leave you shivering and whining.
For this, I will prescribe a cloth rice bag. No need to buy one, as they are very cheap and easy to make. For those who know a little of sewing, all you need to do is to take two rectangular pieces of non-melting cloth (IE Cotton) and sew together. Before closing it all the way, fill it with rice. You might also use corn or any other grain. I find that rice burns less often, however.
People that lack sewing skills, there is hope! Find a bag in a store. Again, something like cotton, so that it will not melt. Once you fill the bag with rice, you can either tie the bag shut with some yarn, string, ribbon or rope. (Or if you want to dig out a needle and thread, just sew in and out until it is tightly sewn enough that no rice spills out.)
Prescription: Heat rice pad up in the microwave and apply as needed. (You may want to tell your gift receivers not to heat them up too much, as the rice will burn. 3:00 minutes in the microwave is generally the most you'll ever want to put them in for, and I recommend testing to see whether or not that is too high first.)
Today's prescription: Rice Bags.
I have lived in a few different areas of the country (The east, south, southwest, and northwest.) and it seems to me that no matter where one lives in the US, the winter weather is cold. Cold enough that, even in the warm indoors, your limbs may feel frozen. This might keep you from sleeping. At the very least, it may leave you shivering and whining.
For this, I will prescribe a cloth rice bag. No need to buy one, as they are very cheap and easy to make. For those who know a little of sewing, all you need to do is to take two rectangular pieces of non-melting cloth (IE Cotton) and sew together. Before closing it all the way, fill it with rice. You might also use corn or any other grain. I find that rice burns less often, however.
People that lack sewing skills, there is hope! Find a bag in a store. Again, something like cotton, so that it will not melt. Once you fill the bag with rice, you can either tie the bag shut with some yarn, string, ribbon or rope. (Or if you want to dig out a needle and thread, just sew in and out until it is tightly sewn enough that no rice spills out.)
Prescription: Heat rice pad up in the microwave and apply as needed. (You may want to tell your gift receivers not to heat them up too much, as the rice will burn. 3:00 minutes in the microwave is generally the most you'll ever want to put them in for, and I recommend testing to see whether or not that is too high first.)
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